I had a conversation with a client about a month ago about routines. I said to her " you know, it's ok to change your routine if you want to"; "Is it?" she replied. We often are so hard on ourselves that we forget to give ourselves permission to change. When I say change I mean to take action, do something new, stop doing something...you get the idea.
Permission is normally attained by getting approval from someone else. But when it comes to our own lives, most, if not all of the time, only we can give ourselves permission to change, to be happy, to be successful, to be imperfect, to be anything we choose. How many times have you asked a question you already knew the answer to...hoping someone would give you the answer you needed? But if you have had to go for it anyway, how has that changed your thinking and feeling around it?
Coming back to my client...we talked about how her life had changed recently, giving her more freedom to do as she chose. She had the freedom to choose anything that she wanted and that choice was paralysing. Never had she had so much freedom and this was all a bit unfamiliar and scary. That's the thing about change, it is scary sometimes, even when you have chosen it. My client giving herself permission to choose her daily routine was (and is) important as it directly affects happiness. When you feel you have no choice it can lead to unhappiness.
So it got me thinking. Why is giving yourself permission to change so important, yes, it can affect your happiness but is there more to it than that? Here are my top three reasons for giving yourself permission to change:
- You deserve it. No, really, you do. Living the life you want is not dependent on your qualifications or experience. It isn't dependent on your age or any other excuse you might care to use. If it were then it would be true for everyone. If you really don't feel that you can give yourself permission to change, let me do that for you. It's ok to live the life you want. You are worthy of it.
- Giving yourself permission = accepting yourself. Whether you are giving yourself permission to stop and rest, to go work harder, to cry, to laugh; it doesn't matter. It is actually acknowledging yourself in that moment.In that moment you can be who you are, no pretences or facades. So why not recognising yourself and allowing yourself to be accepted in all the moments of your life?
- It allows you to choose. When you know that you are the boss of you, there is no 'should'. Giving yourself the permission you need to make the choices you want to make means that you have the opportunity to make positive choices for yourself and be the person you want to be.
My question to you today is...what do you need to give yourself permission for?